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I am surprised that an alien should write this message on the back window of their ship. I am also surprised to find an alien spaceship here and now. Here, outside my house. Now, well…now.
My experience of alien spaceships is limited to this one occasion; thus I am not well equipped to determine the make or model. I would hazard a guess that this is not in the executive class, but neither is it a cheap run around. A family car seems a fitting nomenclature. ‘Family’ may not be a term applicable to aliens, but ‘car’ assuredly is, for the vehicle has four wheels, seats, and a steering wheel, and thus qualifies as a car by anyone’s reckoning.
It is not in good order. Far from it. Being something of a DIYer myself, I can recognise bad workmanship, and this example is full of it. Rust holes patched with filler, mirrors held on with tape, trim glued rather than riveted in place.
‘Excuse me? Can you leave my car alone, please?’ ‘I am sorry. I was just looking.’
The alien pilot is here, and she isn’t happy.
‘Well, I would appreciate it if you moved away from the door so I can get in.’ ‘Of course, but may I ask how far you have travelled?’
‘That’s none of your business’
I am holding up my hand in a gesture implying halt. The pilot holds up her hand and sprays something into my eyes. The liquid burns and I am blind. I fall to the floor.
I hear the engines start and the craft departs.
Now I am sat resting against the gate to my house. Two school kids walk past on the opposite side of the street.
‘Fucking pervert!’ they shout.
July 17, 2023