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Dear Sir/Madam,
It has come to my attention that In recent months
A number of poles/posts Have been erected/planted In positions inhospitable
(Namely in my porch and outdoor convenience)
To the maintenance of my daily routine
(Namely entering and exiting my abode and other necessaries).
While these posts have a certain utility
(e.g. hanging my coat should it be damp, and displaying my bust of Mendelssohn), They represent a significant variation, or, better,
Deviation,
From the pepperoni pizza I ordered.
Your truly, [email protected]
July 24, 2023